Definition
Doghouse, n. slang. In disgrace. Out of favor (Oxford English Dictionary).
Mother’s Day
It was Mother’s Day circa 2010. I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. My sons were about four, and I had just called my mother, and probably even sent her flowers. I thought I was good.
I wasn’t.
It was just one of those things, you probably have done this, where you just apply the wrong framework. You adopt the wrong mindset.
I had thought that Mother’s Day was about your mother. You see, I had been harboring that mistaken impression for my entire life. Once my twin boys were about four, my wife and I had finally emerged from the fog of the “terrible-twos” (our pediatrician had advised us that this period can start at one and end at four). After reaching that milestone I guess I should have anticipated that they could have appropriately recognized their mother and seemingly doted upon her with proper extravagance. I similarly could have anticipated that I was the vehicle, the medium, through which these ends were meant to be achieved.
To the Doghouse
Despite having a pleasant call to my own mother, at my own home there were no flowers. There were no presents. And after a pointed lecture on the aforementioned and previously unappreciated Mother’s Day principles, I was relegated to the doghouse.
I’ll spare you the details. Suffice it to say it wasn’t pretty. And on some level it lasted for a year.
The great thing about the doghouse—which I have come to appreciate as a wonderful concept—is that it is temporary. It attenuates over time, similar to waves, through a relatively slow and often peaceful dampening. After all, how long can you actually be mad at your dog?
If you get sent to the outhouse, that’s a problem. Even worse is taking a trip behind the woodshed. The doghouse, however, is a relatively tame locale of confinement that is appropriate for the kind of minor transgressions, errors, gaffes, and boneheaded mistakes that are a part of everyday life. It is a place for an adult-size timeout.
Come to think of it, there are benefits of the doghouse, too. Although it can be a bit smelly and confined, it also has a spiritual warmth. It doesn’t sound too bad to curl up and take a nap next to a warm pup and let the problems of the world roll on by, does it?
